More of the things I've hidden from,have pushed away,pushed me to the front,pushed me down and pushed behind me were cascading out in embarrassing yet ambiguous mess..A mess that have been created at the first place without any concerns and others supervision..which destroys me into pieces,become vulnerable and coated with a film of guilt,anxiety and shame..Out of my sight,I'm a person who doesn't believe in L.O.V.E...Years and years being told as ugly,and terrorized by the Body Dimorphic Disorder..,builds the inner me,becoming defensive and living with a hard time dealing without the love ingredients. I've been bombarded with abuse by a different degree of peoples,from the ones I've known for ages,traitors and also strangers who only spend a single minute term to chew on perception,impression and opinion. Confession from the soul of mine "no matter how many times i was called beautiful,i would look into the mirror and see a ugly person"..its like for a few seconds i see what is there,then the haze disappears and i see this grotesque monster..-this have the type of scars that will never completely heal.I hope all sense of it proves me something fundamentally wrong..,and the love will goes to pass me by.SOON~
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